lovelane graveyard
Five years ago today, my world came crashing down.
At 21, I was living in Tokyo experiencing what would have been one of the most memorable times of my life. The city, the people, the way of life – I loved every thing about being there, and I’d spend all day and night immersing myself into my life in Japan. One night I went out with my friend Timmy and crashed at his place, we spent the next day hanging around playing with cameras and shooting photos. I made my way back to my place around 6pm to charge my phone so I could give my mom a call and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. Once I got a full charge, a call came through from a New Jersey number. I picked it up and it was an unfamiliar voice. The woman introduced herself, explained that she worked at the hospital and was with my mom who wanted to talk to me. Initially I thought something happened to my mom, my heart raced and my mind wandered quicker in that 3 seconds of hold time than I ever thought imaginable.
“Manda,” she said, barely being able to get the words together, “Warren died.” I can’t begin to put into words the feelings my body got overcome by, and the break my heart felt, so I won’t try. Although the word is overused, heartbreak does exist. And mine is still broken to this day.
I had a dream last night. Warren was there. We were standing outside, and I told him “I love you, so so much.” He said the same, and gave me the biggest, deepest hug that I can still feel now. I encourage you all to take the time and hug a little deeper, love a little harder, and live a little lighter. This life is short, and we are so lucky to be surrounded by the people we love.
Some people have asked the story behind the name of this site. Love Lane is the name of the street my brother is buried at. The exact purpose is what I mentioned above - loving and living. The life that happened after my brother left. The moments I wish I could share with him, and my commitment to living a life I love.
Eventually all of the pieces fall into place, until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment and know that everything happens for a reason.
